i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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