Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
