I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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