please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
