I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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