Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
