Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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