eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
