Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
