she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
