Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why do cheetos always look like penises
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize