i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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