it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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