I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
