Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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