Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize