whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
we should paint friendship bongs
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