that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
