i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
