Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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