is your mom at the bar?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
