She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
