after a month anything with tits is on the radar
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
