dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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