hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
