You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
