so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
