I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
