Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
