Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
