I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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