Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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