She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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