I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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