i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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