Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
