There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
