for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She needs sedatives and a leash
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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