literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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