just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
