Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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