Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
