Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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