I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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