whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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