I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
