What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
