My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just want to make out with him forever
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
