the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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