OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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