i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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