I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So much rum. So many feels.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
