Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
