I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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