You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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