i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
