I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
