forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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