are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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