Yo dont text me then not text me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
