just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
