The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
