But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
