I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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