It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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